Can We Keep Her? - Ch. 1

The plan would have succeeded had Pinky left the television on the weather channel per request of The Brain.  

Waist deep in the frigid snow, Brain fumed.  He had hoped to reroute the city's water supply to use it for his giant water wheel that would generate enough power for his jumbo satellite to broadcast his mind-numbing programming that would brainwash the masses as they attempted to view their prime time specials and late night news.  Then, with the world under his control, he could successfully step in as supreme leader!

Unfortunately, due to the snow, the pipes carrying the water were frozen shut.  Had The Brain been aware of the anticipated snow fall hours earlier, he would have planned ahead and brought along a blow torch or even his Bunsen burner would've done the trick!  But no, he glared at his companion, currently skipping around trying to catch snowflakes on his tongue.  He was breathing so heavily in anticipation, however, that his heated breath melted the flurries before they could touch the muscle lolling out of his mouth.  Still, his associate continued these shenanigans unperturbed.

Brain sighed, suppressing a shiver.  Well, at least he'd been aware of the chill, bringing along their little winter coats he'd snatched from Pinky's Darbie and Ben dolls.  The other mouse didn't seem to miss them, he preferred dressing them in rather risqué clothes that would've made Brain blush had he not been aware of the mouse's innocence and declaration that his dolls were joining the circus.  Or skydiving, he could never remember which.

With the plan foiled for the night, Brain shuffled through the snow in the direction of the lab. Snow crunched behind him, reaffirming his assumption that Pinky would follow without orders.  His ears flattened against his head.  He remembered the coats, but the ear muffs were nestled in a drawer somewhere.

"Weeeeee!"  Pinky squealed as he ran ahead of Brain, arms spread out wide as he spun around in circles.  "Isn't the snow lovely, Brain?  Troz!"

Brain huddled further into his coat, hiking up the collar around his neck.  "It's sublime."  He deadpanned.  "Enough with your tomfoolery.  Come, we must head back to the lab to prepare for tomorrow night."

"Oh, but Brain!  Can't we make snow angels first?  Puh-leeeeze!"  Brain didn't know how he quite managed to pop up right in front of him when he had been a good three feet away when he'd last checked, yet there he was, his red nose pressed against his own and his hands clasped together.

Personal space was lost on Pinky, yet Brain had to admit in this case he didn't mind so much.  The heat from his friend's breath warmed his face considerably.  Unfortunately, with it came the smell of garlic fries.  Pinky had gotten hungry on their way to the water pipes.

Shoving him aside, Brain continued undeterred.  "No, Pinky.  As much as you enjoy frolicking in this winter wasteland, I would rather spend my evening wrapped in an afghan whilst nursing a steaming cup of tea as I read T.S. Eliot by the light of the fire."  The mental image reminded him of just how cold it was.  He glowered, tucking his crooked tail close and folding his arms tightly across his chest.

"How about a snow mouse?  Can I make a snow mouse, Brain?  Can I?  Oh, please, can I?"  Pinky tugged on his coat, trying to get him to turn around, but Brain remained stolid.  Those blue eyes were surely the size of dinner plates, his lower lip was most likely jutting out ever so slightly, and his ears would slowly wilt until they were all but touching the ground.

He didn't want to be out in this snow any longer, and just looking at that face would render him unable to achieve this desire.  "No, no snow mouse tonight, Pinky."  His ears twitched at the despondent wail that issued from the taller mouse.  "Perhaps tomorrow, if there's time between taking over the world and the History channel's documentary: 'Dictators Through the Ages'."

"Poit!  Really, Brain?" That had perked him up fairly quickly.  "Hooray!  I'm gonna make a snoooow moooouse!"  He sang as his skipping began anew.  "And I'll name him Pancake!"

The Brain rolled his eyes as he trudged along after his friend, blocking out the unintelligible verses of "Pancake the Snow Mouse" Pinky was making up on the spot.  He focused more on his warm vision.  Once the numbness in his fingers and toes faded, he could concentrate on drawing up plans for tomorrow night, provided that Pinky didn't drag him into some other inane activity. Watching Pinky launch himself off the ceiling fan into the wall was only amusing the first four times, any that followed that spurred on concern for the mouse's remaining brain cells.

It was then that he realized he could no longer hear Pinky singing.

"Pinky?"  He called out, cupping his frigid paws around his mouth as his eyes searched the empty white streets.  "Pinky!  Where are you?"

"Narf!  Over here, Brain!"  Pinky waved from his perch on the top of a garbage can.

Brain groaned, it was going to be a long journey back to the lab tonight.  "Pinky, get down from there!"

"To infinity, and beyond!"  Pinky crowed as he dove off the metal cylinder, landing head first in a pile of snow.  Laughter emerged from the drift before he did.  "Oh, that was fun!  You should try it, Brain!"

Fighting back the mutinous twitch of his lips, Brain shoved his paws in the pockets of the jacket.  "I'll pass."  Pinky shrugged, as if to say 'your loss', and was about to clamber back up when he felt a sharp tug on his tail.  "Oh no you don't."

Pinky sighed in resignation, but his disappointment didn't last for long.  Soon enough his tongue was swinging about once more in search of snowflakes.  "What do snowflakes taste like, Brain?"

He arched an eyebrow.  "They're frozen water, Pinky."  He received a blank stare in return.  "They taste like gum drops and butterfly wings and magic rainbows."  He drawled.

"I knew it."  Pinky replied, a serious expression on his face.  "Hmph, and Gerry told me they tasted like licorice and sardines."

Another chat would have to be scheduled with the gerbil; he was filling Pinky's head with more nonsense than usual.  Again.  "Pinky, remind me to hurt you once I can feel my fingers again."

"Okay, Brain!"  He giggled, then reached for Brain's arms.

The shorter mouse leaned away, but was caught regardless.  "What are you doing?"

"Warming your hands!"  Pinky chirped, tugging his paws out of his pockets and rubbing them between his own.

While dolls in lingerie had no effect on him, a simple gesture of goodwill had him blushing like a schoolgirl.  "No- I- Pinky, let go!"  He yanked his hands out of his friend's grasp, shoving them into his pockets sullenly.  

Pinky blinked at him, perplexed by his reaction.  "But you said your hands were cold."
"I did nothing of the kind!  Those words never passed my lips."  He snapped, stomping through the snow as he willed the redness away from his cheeks.

"Well… poit.  Wasn't it implied?"

Brain froze in his tracks.  Since when did Pinky understand implications?  He spared him an over-the-shoulder glance, his blue-eyed companion twisting his tail in his paws where he stood knee-deep in the snow.  The cold didn't appear to have any effect on him.  Though after careful scrutiny, Brain spied the tremors traveling up the lanky legs.

The sooner they got back to the lab, the better.  "Enough of this.  Let's just go home."  Brain quieted his stomping, until he was satisfied with the sound of crunching snow behind him.

He actually dared to hope they'd make it back within the hour, when he became aware of Pinky's absence yet again.  Growling to himself, he backtracked their path, following the larger set of footprints in the snow.

---

Now, Pinky knew The Brain wanted to get home lickity-split and, since he didn't want his friend to be cold, he wanted to get home too.  However, as he admired the pretty sight of a snow coated city, movement caught the corner of his eye.  Overcome with curiosity, Pinky wandered over to investigate.

Beneath a metal bench there was a moving pile of snow.  Shivering, to be exact.  He'd never seen anything like it, so, he did like any normal person would do in the face of the unknown.  He reached out and touched it.

Some of the snow fell away to reveal more white.  White fur.  Brushing off more of the snow, Pinky gasped as his gaze fell upon a tiny mouse, curled up in an attempt to block out the cold.  After scanning the area for any signs of a parent, Pinky slipped off his coat and made to wrap it around the baby.

Startled by the sudden motion, the mouse scooted away, staring at him with wide, pink eyes.  Her chest heaved as she huffed out quick pants of air, trembling even more so.  Pinky smiled, crouching down in the snow to be at eye level with the baby.  This seemed to work, so Pinky scooted a little closer.  When the mouse didn't dart away, he tried once again to wrap his coat around her.

Pinky scooped her up into his arms.  "There, there, little baby snow mouse.  That's much better now, isn't it?  Narf!"

"Pinky!"  His ears perked up as he heard Brain approach.  "Have you any sense left at all in that hollow shell you call a head?  Put your coat back on, you'll freeze!"

He felt plenty warm as he recognized Brain's "I'm-mad-and-worried-but-more-worried-though-I'll-try-to-hide-it-with-mad" tone.  He giggled as he spun around.  "Looky what I found, Brain!"

Pinky lifted his arms to show off the bundle he cradled, but Brain appeared less than impressed.  "That's your coat, Pinky."

"No, no, no."  Pinky grinned, shaking his head with each 'no'.  "It's what's in my coat, Brain!"

Plenty wary of whatever it was Pinky picked up, Brain approached his friend with caution.  Pinky leaned down so he could see better, momentarily distracted by the shiver of Brain's right ear.  He heard the intake of breath from the shorter mouse, drawing Pinky's attention back to the baby.

"Pinky…"  Brain's mouth was making a bunch of floppy motions, as if he were a fish.  Pinky snorted back his laugh and pink eyes raised to meet his.  

"Isn't she cute, Brain?"  He cooed, rocking her back and forth enthusiastically.  Looking down into her little face, she appeared startled by all that was going on around her.  To cheer her up, he started making silly-willy faces at her.  Her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her cheeks.  "Aww, she likes me, Brain!"

"Pinky!"  The Brain snapped, grabbing hold of Pinky's nose and dragging him down to eye level, albeit careful of the child he was carrying.  "Where did you find her?  We must return her to her mother at once before you are charged with kidnapping!  You should know better!"  He scolded firmly.  "You can't just go grabbing little children off the streets!"

His blue eyes started to water.  "But Brain-!"

"Pinky, stop!  Now, where did you find her?"  Brain crossed his arms and tried to tap his foot impatiently, though the effect was lost considering his entire lower half was buried in snow.

Shifting the baby's weight to one arm, he pointed to the bench with the other.  "Right here, Brain.  There's nobody else around."

Much to Brain's malcontent, Pinky was right.  They were the only living beings as far as he could see.  Moving past mild irritation at this point, Brain turned to glare at his friend for getting them into this mess.  It lost some of its heat as he observed the silly faces Pinky made at the baby, even going as far as to rub his nose against hers.  Brain slumped, bringing a paw to his forehead.  Why him?

"Pinky, stop messing around.  This child must have a mother somewhere.  Perhaps they became separated in the snow."  Brain pondered, grasping for some plausible explanation for the abandoned baby mouse.  "Come, we'll take her to the police station.  They'll know what to do for her while they search for her parents."

The face Pinky made was quite similar to the one he made when he found out Simon Cowlick was leaving American Icon.  Disappointment.  "Oh, but Brain, would a good family really leave their baby out here all on their own?  Poit."

"I'm almost positive it wasn't intentional, Pinky."  Brain rationalized to comfort his friend, and convince him to drop off the child in someone else's care.  "Children get lost quite frequently, it's almost a rite of passage for a parent to have a moment of irresponsibility and lose track of their offspring."  Pinky still appeared unconvinced.  "The police will have doughnuts and hot chocolate for her."

"Really?  Narf!  That sounds like a great place!  Let's go!"  For a moment, Brain feared he'd drop the bundle in his manic haste, but the lanky mouse surprised him.  Pinky somehow knew to shift his grip just enough so that the baby wasn't jostled too much by his prancing.

Brain walked beside him, after offering Pinky the scarf he had tucked around his neck.  Merely because it made him colder just looking at Pinky's exposed fur.  Since his companion was still cradling the bundle, he simply lowered his head and let Brain wrap the scarf around him.

"Thanks, Brain!"

---

Pinky changed his mind about the police station.  There were no doughnuts or hot chocolate!  

They also didn't seem to take the issue very seriously.

A poor, baby mouse had lost her family and all the mean old policeman did was laugh and say he'd call the animal shelter and see if they needed any food for their snakes.  Luckily, Brain dragged the two of them out without another word, which relieved him somewhat.  He knew Brain didn't want the little mouse around, but at least he didn't want to feed her to a snake!  That was just unsanitary.

"How barbaric!"  Brain grumbled, decently affronted by the remark.

Pinky nodded in agreement.  "And intolerant!  Narf!"

"Indeed."  The shorter of the two shoved his paws in his pockets, shivering a good amount now.  His eyes roved over his taller friend, his attention lingering on the complete lack of protection he had from the elements.

Pinky was valiantly, or just didn't notice, attempting to conceal the fact that the cold was affecting him.  But constant tremors ran along his limbs and up his back.  And if he forgot to clamp his mouth shut, his teeth chattered something awful.  Brain's brow creased in contemplation.  It was completely irrational to remain outside any longer, even if that meant carting the babe with them.

"W-w-what do we do now, Brain?"  Pinky forced out between his teeth, hugging the swaddled infant close to his chest.

Brain sighed and took hold of Pinky's arm, leading him towards the lab.  "We go home, Pinky.  From there we will warm up and then decide what to do about our company."

This seemed to perk Pinky up enough to get him moving faster towards Acme Labs.  Brain kept up sufficiently, for he was just glad the lab wasn't too far from the police station.